It was doom quickly approaching, in 2005, for me. I was in weeks from sabotaging my own life. I was doing it to please others. I never questioned their tyranny and never conceived of standing up for myself.
But then, something happened that I thought never would in my life. Online, in my hideout, I met Meg, a quirky Canadian woman. Over weeks and then months, our communication crumbled all the fears, doubts and preconceptions I had installed in me by my society and family. One day, I have crossed the barrier with no way back. I no longer could keep going on as if I wasn’t in pain. As if others were not killing me by demanding I sacrificed my life for them.
One of the photos of myself I sent Meg
I dumped everything and everybody I had ever known in Russia. It wasn’t a decision. It was something I knew I had to do or I would parish.
My parents’ attempt to kidnap me and drag back to Russia
On February 16, 2006, I ran from my home and just a few months later headed for the open sea. I wasn’t afraid. This was the best time of my life. Finally, I was in control of my destiny!
First days in the Med
On April 27, 2007, Meg and I tied our weary boat to a dock in Victoria, Meg’s home in British Columbia.
I was scared, of course I was! Hell, I knew nothing about weather, oceans or sailing. But this was the time when I was the most alive. I took charge of my life and I loved it. For the first time ever! Before then, before being honest with myself and following my heart, I had no idea life could be that good.
Today
In 2006, Meg and I weren’t heading for Canada. How hard it was and how much risk it was, was not about Canada. It was about being together and — no less importantly — about being true to ourselves. Getting over the delusion that Canada will grant me rights and freedoms that Meg had took many years when I was waiting for various useless government-issued papers. We got on with our life again only in 2012. We left BC and Canada behind and have been living on the run ever since, looking for a place in the world where we would want to be and where both of us, a Russian and a Canadian, can immigrate. So far, we haven’t found such a country.
Follow our never-ending voyage on my Telegram channel A Russian on the Run.